I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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