was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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