the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
