just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
