$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
