I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
