when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
