i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
