you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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