i don't like sucking hair
Me too!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
