So drunk its hurt
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
