On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
