Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
