Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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