I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize