My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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