when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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