I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
