whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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