shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
