where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
