i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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