Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it's not cheating when I paid for it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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