Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
