so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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