Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
