So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
