I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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