Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
