Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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