how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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