I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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