I would go down on you faster than GM stock
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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