Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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