my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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