In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
