Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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