i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize