And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
