i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
