So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
