Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  don't go home with that guy from jersey

  (626): View more from California

  i know, not worth the blood test

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  (323): don't go home with that guy from jersey (626): i know, not worth the blood test http://tfl.nu/va7v
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's always exciting to touch a new boob.

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  (814): It's always exciting to touch a new boob. http://tfl.nu/e374
  Replies (12) Good night (6657) Bad night (651)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom

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  (317): One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom http://tfl.nu/vjva
  Replies (14) Good night (1518) Bad night (3582)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days

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  (619): he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days http://tfl.nu/5mt6
  Replies (10) Good night (4837) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.

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  (901): I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko. http://tfl.nu/cca0
  Replies (8) Good night (2963) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis

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  (720): the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis http://tfl.nu/41ot
  Replies (14) Good night (5314) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.

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  (517): All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/gnt9
  Replies (12) Good night (3296) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive

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  (306): I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive http://tfl.nu/z4k9
  Replies (6) Good night (2838) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.

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  (805): Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/kjws
  Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.

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  (507): Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization. http://tfl.nu/k6sn
  Replies (5) Good night (1476) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection

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  (516): perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection http://tfl.nu/w4cf
  Replies (8) Good night (578) Bad night (1751)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive

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  (804): Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive http://tfl.nu/45br
  Replies (9) Good night (2052) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"

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  (214): Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types" http://tfl.nu/3nt2
  Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.

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  (765): Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it. http://tfl.nu/ilaz
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.

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  (505): She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem. http://tfl.nu/rpgs
  Replies (1) Good night (982) Bad night (307)

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