Just fell off a train. Bad.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She told me I should be a condom model.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed