LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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