Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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