did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
