Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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