I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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