OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
