i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
