That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
