OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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