Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
