garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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