As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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