Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
