There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
