i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Come see our sink grown plant.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think my moral compass just broke
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