idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
