If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
