by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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